Battle of the Hippie Soap

SoapAs of late I’ve become more aware of how unhealthy my lifestyle was prior to moving to China and even since returning. Everything I eat is loaded with sugar, factory made/processed ingredients, and now dairy; because, China. I’ve also realized how stationary my life is/was and how pretty much everything I use is manufactured. As my family says, I’ve kind of become a hippy – but one who refuses to give up chocolate.

In China I decided to stop using shampoo and conditioner, I used baking soda and water. It made my hair feel weird, but it curled so well and I felt better about my looks. Yes, yes I did. After a rough day of odd reverse culture shock, I decided I’d start using shampoo again, but I wanted to use something that wouldn’t take away from the new found curl and bounce and happiness from my hair. I found this amazing shampoo. It is paraben free, mineral oil free, and (something I can’t pronounce or spell) free. It makes my hair feel and smell good.

Last night I ran to Target to get a few things I was running low on and remembered I wanted soap (and about a bazillion other things, because Target). I found soap that was much like my shampoo in being free of a lot of things. Plus there is coffee in it! (I heart coffee). The soap was a little more expensive than what I’m used to paying for, but I noticed it was pretty large. Larger than your average bar of soap. So I took that into account. Not terrible for me, win. Costly, not so much a win. Large enough to be worth the money, win.

I came home, ate dinner, and decided to break in that new bar of soap. Little did I know that the bar of soap would try to break my ankle … While showering and trying to figure out how to wash myself with an awkwardly large bar of soap, I dropped the bar. No worries, it just made a lot of clunking noises that made the family wonder if I had fallen and couldn’t get up (I have old lady tendencies …). Thankfully no one came to the door. Then I dropped the bar again. This time, the bar went straight into my ankle. It went for the kill shot.

At first I didn’t really know what had happened. It all happened so fast, I thought maybe one of the cats had come in and starting biting my ankles, but no. There were no cats. The stream of pale red, almost pink blood like water was coming from the bar of soap. Its battle scar of falling and throwing itself into my ankle was mocking me as it said, “you tried to keep the other bars of soap from killing you from the inside, I’ll make up for it on the outside.”

I made it out of the shower and limped away. Once safely away from the bathroom and telling the family about the terrifying experience I just had, I noticed a welt right below my ankle. It is the size of my thumb. Although my soap attempted to kill me outwardly with force instead of inwardly with cheap manufactured ingredients, I will continue using it until its dying day.

The soap may have won that battle, but it won’t win the war…

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